Outdoor Ambitions

A breeze keeps blowing my loose strands of hair into my face and if I tilt my head just right, I can see a threading of web reflecting light through the blades of grass. The smell of someone grilling and the sound of birdsong mix now with the quiet clack of the keyboard. I am somehow in a different life but it is my own.

I haven’t read an actual book in maybe, over a year. Someone was kind enough to send me one off of my Amazon wishlist, suggested by my mentor. It’s so beautiful outside today again, after most of the week being rain and snow. Going on a walk is suggested but the mentally tired bug bit me earlier today and was not shaken. Resting outside, reading for the first time in forever, carding my fingers through the velveteen fur of my rabbit, has melted the work day away.

It’s not just any book either. It’s not an escape (which I am constantly seeking) or a cover up. It requests that I face reality and ask myself hard questions.

we need to figure out where we are before we plot a course forward

Bob Goff – Dream Big

I am urged to open my eyes, take a clear look at everything I think about myself and why, sort through my desires and ambitions as if doing an internal spring cleaning, and truly put in the work to make my life what I long for it to be.

No more doing what merely occupies, entertains, and numbs us?

Bob Goff – Dream Big

Can you be honest with yourself? How difficult is it for you?
As the light fades into evening and the breeze becomes chilled, I will go back inside but take these questions with me.

From only three chapters into the book, I already highly suggest it. Have you heard of it? Read it? Dream Big by Bob Goff

Endings with PB&J

The fact that I wanted to be an author for several years of my life but have never finished a story really bothers me sometimes. It makes me wonder if I will ever be able to finish what I put my mind to. I’ve always had a hard time with endings, with goodbyes. My style of writing stories always throws you straight into the thick of it and I’m curious if that makes beginnings hard too. Even writing this post, my mind is running from one thing to the next too quickly. A chorus of things I want to do and associated thoughts sing in my head like an orchestra with an untrained conductor.

Letter writing is something that I’ve wanted to get into but I haven’t had anyone to write to. Today, I received a response to a letter I had written back to the only Christmas letter addressed only to me. I’m very excited to continue snail mailing them so that’s an instrument in my brain orchestra.

Derailing from writing is my desire to practice and grow in my Japanese language knowledge. A good friend told me she couldn’t read my blog because I did not properly use the oxford comma. This threw me into a conundrum, as I had thought I was fully supporting the correct use of said comma. My writing is rustier than I had originally thought. What does that have to do with Japanese? Just the wondering if the sentence structure of Japanese has seeped into how I write my English phrases. Are there any other strong supporters of the Oxford comma here? Anyone who speaks, reads and writes Japanese?

Thank you for reading my poorly conducted thoughts this evening.
It feels like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, when you could have cooked something. Maybe it’s messy and quick, but at least it’s classic comfort food.