May it be

Hello Strangers and Friends,

Do you ever go through periods of time when nothing interests you and you can’t force yourself to care about what previously, was all you thought about? Last week I couldn’t bring myself to do anything, care about anything, be interested in anything, despite the week before being full of motivation and inspiration.

I still don’t have the desire to put effort or focus into my usual interests but I’ve managed to force myself to accomplish the responsible things like laundry and cleaning; still working having an appetite. There are two things that have garnered my attention and interest. Unfortunately, they are not specifically productive to this blog or my creative goals that I can see.

A large amount of brain space has been occupied by the newest series on Netflix to snag my for-now obsession. It’s had the power to make me buy the books only a day after finishing season 1. I haven’t bought books in years, let alone with the fervor of expectant waiting that follows the tracking of my package. I’m both pleased with this outcome and displeased that it hasn’t happened for my other interests or the other books already on my shelves. I guess I’ll take what I can get.

The other object of my interest and excitement: planning a short trip for my birthday this summer. While I had originally been planning on international travel, this trip is just full enough of aesthetic dream content to stir my meh brain. My friend and I plan to stay in a lovely little cottage on a farm where there is plenty of opportunity to live out the associated fantasy. There is still much to be done for this trip but the knowledge that we will be able to stay at the gorgeous Airbnb and that I’ve gotten the minimum time off work approved, gives me that lift that I could really use right now.

Are you feeling oddly blah and kind of down despite Spring pushing through and things looking up as far as returning to “normal life” goes? What are some things that have caught or held your interest?

But first, coffee.

Outdoor Ambitions

A breeze keeps blowing my loose strands of hair into my face and if I tilt my head just right, I can see a threading of web reflecting light through the blades of grass. The smell of someone grilling and the sound of birdsong mix now with the quiet clack of the keyboard. I am somehow in a different life but it is my own.

I haven’t read an actual book in maybe, over a year. Someone was kind enough to send me one off of my Amazon wishlist, suggested by my mentor. It’s so beautiful outside today again, after most of the week being rain and snow. Going on a walk is suggested but the mentally tired bug bit me earlier today and was not shaken. Resting outside, reading for the first time in forever, carding my fingers through the velveteen fur of my rabbit, has melted the work day away.

It’s not just any book either. It’s not an escape (which I am constantly seeking) or a cover up. It requests that I face reality and ask myself hard questions.

we need to figure out where we are before we plot a course forward

Bob Goff – Dream Big

I am urged to open my eyes, take a clear look at everything I think about myself and why, sort through my desires and ambitions as if doing an internal spring cleaning, and truly put in the work to make my life what I long for it to be.

No more doing what merely occupies, entertains, and numbs us?

Bob Goff – Dream Big

Can you be honest with yourself? How difficult is it for you?
As the light fades into evening and the breeze becomes chilled, I will go back inside but take these questions with me.

From only three chapters into the book, I already highly suggest it. Have you heard of it? Read it? Dream Big by Bob Goff